Riding as a Couple

I am the luckiest person in the entire observable universe.  According to some people, I am worthy of this title because I ride with my best friend and soul mate.  The Boss, my long-suffering wife, rides a red BMW F700GS and we spend the riding season exploring our corner of the earth on motorcycles.  Sure, you can call me lucky but let me tell you, I am cursed.  Why? you may ask. Well, let me tell you a few stories about riding as a couple.

The Boss: Boy, you are on thin ice.

Runaway Rider: It’s spring after all.

The Boss: So funny man, where are you going with this little story of yours.

RR: To hell, it appears.

The Boss: Definite possibility. Are you trying to be funny?

RR: No, I use exclamation marks to be funny.

The Boss:  So, which one am I?  Beauty or The Beast?

RR: You’re The Boss. Keep reading!!!!!!!

I used to think I was indecisive but now I’m not sure.

Man, I had to pee.  We had been riding for almost two hours when I told The Boss over the intercom that we needed to stop soon under the pretense of being hungry.  See, during our last stop, at a gas station I was very thirsty, so I drank a large bottle of water.  The Boss had warned me not to drink so much because she knew I would have to find a toilet soon after.  We needed to cover quite a long distance that day and had to spend time in the saddle, not on the toilet.  I did not want to prove her right, so I kept quiet.  I was just trying to will my body to re-absorb all that liquid but no, I really had to pee.

We arrived at the edge of a small village.  You know the type of place with only a main street cutting through it.  A few dozen houses, a small post office with its red Canada Post sign, a church with its tall spire reaching up to the sky, a grocery store and a couple restaurants.  Good! Only two restaurants, picking one should be easy and more importantly, quick. 

The Boss usually decides where we eat.  With such a limited choice, she should make her mind quickly and lead me to a nice restroom … restaurant.  We stopped in front of the community centre.  I could not help but to notice that we were two days too early for bingo night with its promise of exciting prizes.  I wondered what I could win …

The Boss: What do you want to eat?

Runaway Rider: Don’t care.  You decide.

The Boss:  We can have either pub food or Greek food.

RR: Both look fine.

The Boss: Why don’t you decide?

RR: Let’s go to the pub.  It looks nice and it’s closer.

The Boss: But Greek food would be nice. A nice saganaki.  Hmmm.

RR: OK, Greek it is.

The Boss: But you wanted to go to the pub.

RR: No, it’s fine.  Let’s go.

We quickly rode to the Greek restaurant and parked in front.  I was starting to remove my helmet when …

The Boss: I don’t like the look of this place.  Let’s go to the pub.

RR: No, it’s fine.  I am sure the food is great.

The Boss:  Nope, it’s decided.  Back to the pub.

Back on the bikes.  I was worrying about wetting my pants when I heard The Boss laughing over the intercom.  She said “You know I am messing with you.  You must need to go to the washroom so bad.  I see you move around on your seat.”  Riding as a couple can make you want to swear.

Evil has blonde hair, rides a red BMW and speaks to me via an intercom.

My solution to memory problems: Do unforgettable things.

We were on the last day of a four-day motorcycle trip.  It was a beautiful day, gorgeous blue sky, perfect riding weather.  We had been riding for an hour without saying much to each other.  Radio silence is often our response to truly enjoyable riding conditions.  The road was perfect.  The smooth black tarmac was stretching in front of us.  A grey ribbon split in the middle with a single yellow line laid over gentle hills through the forest.  The rumbling of our motorcycles masking what was, otherwise, an idyllic scene.  Carving corners on motorcycles with your best friend is one of life’s finest pleasures.

“Let’s take a short cut!” said The Boss over the intercom, breaking the silence.

 “What?”  I said, not quite understanding what she wanted to do. 

“Look, we keep seeing these cool gravel roads.  One of them must lead to where we want to go”.

There were indeed many gravel roads in the area.  Most of them went to lakes and summer cottages.  Canada has a lot of lakes.  According to Wikipedia (an infallible source), more than 60% of the world’s lakes are in Canada.  Many of these lakes are surrounded by cottages, accessible through networks of gravel roads.  Often these gravel roads cover long distances but, in the end, the only way out is through the same path that led you in.  Fun to ride, but you end up where you started.

We stopped on the side of the road to consult Google Maps.  After carefully looking for a “short cut”, we could not find anything.  All the gravel roads were dead ends.  I had already given up finding anything when The Boss chirped “I got it”.

“Look, these two roads don’t connect, but they are so close that there must be a way”.

As the voice of reason in our couple, I objected: “These are not roads.  They lead to nowhere, no lake, no river, nothing.  They are probably abandoned logging roads, only used during the winter by snowmobiles”.

The Boss: “Wimp!  Just follow me”.

We quickly found the road we were looking for.  For the first 5 km, it was great.  Wide, well-maintained, making for an easy ride.  We then reached a fork.  To the left, the well-maintained road continued towards a lake, but we knew it was a dead end.  To the right, a much rougher but still easily rideable path was our short cut.  After a few kilometers, the rough road could not be called a road anymore, becoming a wide trail.  This hard-packed trail was a lot of fun to ride and we enjoyed ourselves for quite a distance.

The hard work started when solid ground made space for loose sand.  Deep loose sand.  Our motorcycles are equipped with tires that are mostly for road riding.  The 90/10 tires are fine on gravel but are useless on mud or sand.

The Boss: I need a push.

The Boss, in her usual fearless approach, had just ridden to the middle of a large sand patch.  She stayed upright but, she was stuck and expected me to fix her problem.  I am her Knight in CE level 2 armour.

Exhausted, I sat on a large rock.  Both bikes were now clear of the sand.  It had taken a lot of effort, mostly from me, to get them through but we finally were ready to go.  To be fair, The Boss had helped but somehow, she had expended a lot less energy than me. 

Handing me a water bottle, The Boss said “I should have married a younger guy.  They have more stamina”.

We kept going to the end of the “road”.  The Boss was right.  There was a short and easy trail leading to the other gravel road.  This new gravel road was well-travelled and turned out to be lots of fun.

As we reached pavement, The Boss exclaimed: “That was easy!”.

Drenched in sweat and feeling drained of energy, I could not help but to smile.  This “short cut” ended up being an awesome ride.  The type of ride that we will talk about for years.  We saw gorgeous lakes, impressive cliffs carved on the side of mountains, a few deer, a baby skunk, a porcupine, and a river otter.  Part of the road was flooded due to the handy work of a beaver.  Water crossings are always fun.  We also had a picnic next to a small round lake.  What’s not to like?

Even evil can be a force for good.

Adventure is a state of mind.

The big black clouds finally opened up.  Heavy rain.  Rain of biblical proportion and nowhere to hide.  Standing by the side of the road in a torrential downpour, I was watching the water streaming down my visor with a big smile on my face.  Over the intercom, I could hear The Boss laughing.  The type of laugh that is contagious.  Laughing at the situation: two silly fools standing on the side of the road next to two motorcycles, all fully exposed to the elements.

Runaway Rider: Do you want to dance?

The Boss: I would love to.

Evil takes many forms.  Cheerfulness in the face of adversity is one of them.

Riding as a couple: Blessed by a curse.

For as long as we have told stories, we have told stories about curses.  Curses provide an explanation for what happens to us, making us somehow less responsible. Blame bad luck, and misfortunes are easier to tolerate. 

The Boss has a talent for creating good experiences.  She is a happiness magnet.  I think of her as a modern-day witch having upgraded her broom for a red motorcycle.  The good news is that she uses her powers to make me happy.  My curse is not that I cannot choose my fate, but that I can.

The Boss: You think too much.  Sometimes, you need to empty your mind, feel the flow and just go with it.

RR: Witch!

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If you are like me and are struggling with staying happy, I can recommend Stumbling on Happiness.  Check it out.

Your Friend,

Runaway Rider