I placed the carefully folded map in the map pocket of my tank bag.  The Boss was eager to go and was singing “Shut Up and Dance” by Walk The Moon.  Over emphasizing the “shut up” part of the song.  Our destination was about 4 or 5 hours away.  We were going there “old school” style: paper map only, no GPS allowed, no hotel reservation, no online reviews for restaurants or point of interest.  Gas stations will have to be found the hard way.  Just us, our motorcycles, the road and a paper map.  The way the world was meant to be explored.

I came up with this idea of doing weekend trips without using technology because … well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.  The Boss is a willing participant in my ideas because I think she likes me as you can see in my other post Beauty and The Beast on Two Wheels.

The Boss: You should tell people that the four most feared words in our couple is when you say, “I have an idea”.

Runaway Rider:  It’s not that bad.  Sometimes my ideas are good.

The Boss: Your track record is awful, buddy.  Disaster after disaster but, I will admit, with some hints of brilliance.

RR:  I am an unappreciated genius.

The first few hours, The Boss was leading our massive motorcycle gang of two.  The engines roaring, we covered a great distance on peaceful country roads through farmland and forests.  Initially, we knew the way.  These were roads that we had ridden many times, no need for a map.  After a while, the familiar made way to the unfamiliar and we decided to stop both for a needed respite from the road and to consult our paper map.

Let’s pause for a moment.  For many, going old school involves using older motorcycles and dressing for the part.  For this trip, like for most of our trips, everything was planned at the last minute.  So, there was not much we could do in terms of doing this “old school” weekend trip properly.  No old motorcycles, nor vintage leather jackets.  Not one to be deterred by such details, I had an idea.

The world is changing so fast

The Boss asked, “Where are we?” as I carefully unfolded and re-folded the map to display the correct region.  After spending a few seconds trying to find our location, I sheepishly had to admit that the road we had used for more than 30 minutes was not on the map.

The Boss: What do you mean?  This road has been there for decades.

RR:  Well, this is an old map.  Old school … remember.

The Boss: *grabbing the map, unfolding, folding, … trying to find a date* What the hell … 1972!

RR: I got it from my mom. Old school!!!

The Boss: This should be in a museum.

RR: She is pretty old but would not appreciate you putting her in a museum.

The Boss: Funny.  So, you got an old map on purpose.  No one uses old maps.

RR: Treasure hunters do.

The Boss: Yes, they do.  Solid logic there.  Now I need a donut.

RR: What kind?  I’ll get you one.

An important detail: we were stopped at a Tim Hortons.  For those unfamiliar with Tim Hortons restaurants, let’s just say that they specialize in coffee and donuts and that the Canadian landscape is peppered with “Timmies”.  During the summer, motorcyclists stopping at Tim Hortons is a Canadian tradition.  The consequence of all of this is that, sitting in this Tim Hortons, we were surrounded by bikers of all kind.  Some of them were getting quite interested in this couple with two helmets and a paper map on their table.  An odd sight in this day and age.  As soon as I got up to fetch a donut for The Boss, it did not take long for one of them to approach her.  She is a people magnet.

No map is needed when you look lost but the best way to look lost is to be looking at a map. 

As I returned with The Boss’ donut (an old fashioned glazed, obviously), two gentlemen were looking, incredulous, at our map and laughing with The Boss.  They had offered the use of their phones to point us in the right direction.  The Boss had politely declined, explaining that we were on this “old school” trip and her husband’s approach to going old school was to use an old map.  By then, their two other friends had also joined the party, looking at the map and noticing how much things had changed.

Our four new friends were an eclectic group riding two Harleys, one Goldwing and a KLR 650.  It turned out that none of them had been born in 1972. They were just four friends on a nice Saturday ride through Eastern Ontario.  After chatting for a while, sharing stories and more coffee, we parted ways.  As we were putting our helmets on, The Boss said, “That was fun!”.  Just hints of brilliance, I thought.

Back on this “uncharted” road, riding towards a city we hoped still existed, I wondered how long it would take for The Boss to want to stop.  She had drunk a lot coffee.  Over the intercom, The Boss interrupted me before I could make a mathematical prediction of how long we had before the next stop.

The Boss: 1972, that’s an old map.

RR:  Not as old as you.

The Boss: Bah!

RR:  If you had met me in 1972, would you have dated me?

The Boss: I was 5 years old and you were 4!

RR: So?

The Boss: Well, using my high school approach, I would say no.

RR:  Really?

The Boss: Yup, I did not date anyone younger than me or without a car.

RR:  Pretty harsh, for a 5-year-old.

The Boss: A girl must have standards.

RR: Not even for a quick disco date?

The Boss: Everybody was kung-fu fighting.

How the story ends

Despite the advanced age of our map, we did reach our destination.  Without using our technology, a nice restaurant was found, satiating our empty stomachs.  The evening ended in an hotel bar where two complicit souls shared a few adult beverages before retiring to their hotel suite exhausted from the day’s long ride and excited about what the new day would bring.  All of this being paid in cash, which proved quite amusing to the hotel clerk.  Old school, I said.  You’re nuts, she said.

Moral of the story

It took The Boss less than 40 minutes before she needed a toilet break.  So, don’t drink too much coffee before getting on your bikes, kids.

The Boss:  Really? That’s the moral of your story.

RR: Yup, I like it.

The Boss: What about the fact that adventure can be found even in your own backyard?  Sometimes, all you need is an old map.

RR: I guess.  Coffee?

The Boss: Funny.

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Your Friend,

Runaway Rider